Give this quick kettlebell workout a shot… see more at Rigorous Media.

Now, if you set a big goal and fail, you learn something. If you set a big goal and succeed, you gain the outcome of the goal, AND you learn something. If you don’t set a goal at all, you gain nothing and learn nada.

There’s nothing to this process that is stressful or even calming. To create such stress requires a particular way of thinking known as fear of failure (which unfortunately many people have been conditioned to believe).

Working on big goals should be mandatory for productive people. When you really get after it, you’re already moving towards success. If you keep at it consistently with that burning desire, it can pay off big. If you don’t even set a goal, you’ll get nowhere, and if you only set a “realistic” goal, there’s no excitement or positive pressure. It’ll tend to just bore you like a chore and you won’t get after it. The result? You won’t know your limits and you’ll keep living at or below par.

Another side to this is that most people underestimate what goals are truly “realistic” for them. They have no “frame of reference” because they’ve never regularly set any goals for themselves. Certainly some people overestimate their capabilities and fall flat on their face. But if you never overestimate your capabilities by occasionally setting a goal that’s beyond your ability to achieve, you never know your true capabilities — you never map out those edges — so you risk spending your whole life way below your capacity – just average. And unfortunately this is what most people do.

Let’s take your body, for instance. If you never overload your muscles to push beyond their current capabilities, you won’t just stay at the same level of strength and not grow stronger — over time you will actually get weaker.

And this is what happens to people who never push themselves to take on goals that truly challenge them. They grow mentally weaker over time, losing more and more of their capabilities.

CrossFitters inherently push themselves – and as a result grow mentally and physically stronger. It’s quite a sight to experience and I’m lucky enough to witness this happening every day at my gym.

Think back over your life for a moment and consider those times when you really challenged yourself, regardless of whether you successfully achieved the desired result or not. How would you be today if those experiences never happened? Would you be stronger or weaker?

Setting a goal and failing to achieve it doesn’t have to be regarded as some terrible thing to be avoided at all costs. In weight training, working to failure is actually a goal. Hitting the point of failure is ultimately what helps you grow stronger. You don’t know how much you can put out unless you’ve hit the end (failure). Now you know.

A CrossFitter doesn’t bemoan the event of hitting that limit, opting to stick with 65lb thruster indefinitely on “Fran” because 95lbs is just too heavy. That would be silly. Similarly, don’t bemoan your own failures in life when you hit one of those weights you just can’t seem to lift. Simply take a step back and go after a slightly lighter weight for a while, and eventually you’ll be strong enough to lift that heavy one. Don’t conclude that just because you can’t currently lift a weight that’s too heavy for you (or achieve a goal that’s too challenging for you) that you’ll never be able to do it or that the whole process must be inherently stressful and disappointing. Learn to embrace the process itself.